It must be four days after PPM

Most of the soreness is gone.  Nearly all the chaffing.  So as the body has quieted a bit post Pikes, the head has stepped up to the table and mumbled a few things in the back halls … nothing new really.

…had I been able / willing to train this year what would I have accomplished on the mountain on Sunday?

… had I been able / willing to train, and could have accomplished more, would I have actually been able to realize that or would I instead stifled myself with the higher expectations that go with greater fitness?

… how much actual “specific” training is necessary for me (given I got “ok” results on training that was lacking significant long runs, runs at altitude, and runs with large climbs)?

… is getting that specific worth it?  In other words, if I did all that stuff, would netting a 2:45 up, 1:40 down be worth the sacrifice?

… are gains for me now to be better found elsewhere - like in the gym, or with changes to diet?

… how is it that a performance I found to be near abysmal a few years ago is now considered a great accomplishment?

… why can’t my head just be quiet about this?

After years of my head setting this post race pattern, regardless of the distance, I can see it coming and have an idea of how to deal with it.  I nudge those thoughts and questions to the appropriate mental shelf where they belong.  They are fair questions and can be the seeds of improvement.  But they can be misplaced and actually be useless weeds as well. 

I found Aish’s quote in his interview yesterday particularly interesting and timely.  “I think there is kind of a grey area where science and reality kind of don’t quite meet up.  And you know, too many people I know they have all like these gadgets hanging from their arms.  And in the end, you know, its still the same cross your fingers and hope like hell it goes well.  I think you got  to train hard.  And I think you know you got to be focused and have a good plan but you can’t get too crazy.  Running is just running in the end of it…”

The wee mind for me goes to that next Pikes and wants to turn the dials en route in a way where I can get that result, that PR, and walk away knowing I crushed both ends of it – careful but efficient execution to Barr, willful drive to the top and then making the down really hurt.  But even if I put together the 365 days to set up for that, it has been a bit of a crap shoot come race day.  And then there is that bigger picture where it only matters to the guy in the mirror because of his ego.  So the same old questions about the journey and result come up. 

It is good – I have no regrets about Sunday.  And I don’t know what will come of the next year, but it is interesting to see the same dukkha wear at me here. 

Side note Aish also said something else that I could connect with  … “If I could, I would  be a track runner forever.  It is just the best feeling, just floating around that thing.”